Jessica brought up an interesting point that I never even considered; how much of my religious upbringing/sexual confusion fueled my pain? We grew up Southern Baptist. The mega church was built and prospered on fire and brimstone. For years I struggled with self-hatred and the belief that god hated me for liking girls. For years I thought something was wrong with me because I was different. I never thought to question if this played a role in helping to hurt me. I was fucked up when it came to sex and having to deal with questions of religion and sexual identity only served to make me more confused and lost. I should explore this thought further but for now
Fuck religion. Religion is but a fallacy that some employ to not have to take responsibility for their actions. It's but a legal escape from the harshness that is life; for that which we can't explain. It's laughable to hear some people blame god for the BP oil spill; as if god has nothing better to do but fuck with people's livelihoods and oh yeah, the damn planet he created. I call bullshit. You can be spiritual. You can have beliefs and morals but when people preach a gospel of hate and sin and pain, who is benefiting? This angle to be explored is seriously making me more angry than I'm prepared for.
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