resin to the rescue

My inner crack head came out. I diligently and desperately took to cleaning my pipe to get a little bit of resin to smoke. I don't even care. I needed an out. Weed has always been my out. Granted, i didn't smoke weed but I have a buzz going on now thanks to the resin. Me kinda stoned and hopefully will be distracted enough to not think about her outing.

General Fear is kicking my ass. I need to let it go and accept that we laid the rules, I got to play by them and now it's her turn. I have to be pragmatic, objective and detached. Compartmentalization is my thing, right? If nothing else, I'm trying to accept that she deserves at least one date with him. I have to process it. I need to win the war in my head.

M is her friend. They're attracted to each other, they flirt. But she's coming home to me. He's in no place to be in a relationship. She tells me that I'm the only one. I have to see both sides of this. I've wasted my entire Thursday evening worrying about this. It's almost 10pm, fuck that. I want some good time.

The pronoun "I" shows up quite a bit in this post. Selfish? Duh, I'm writing about myself? This is a stoned post. Ha!

*currently listening to The World Has Turned and Left Me Here -Weezer