After breakfast of Starbucks & cheese danish, I'm sitting by myself at the library. So grateful to have a laptop and for the library to have pretty good wi-fi service. I'm pulling up itunes, popping on my headphones and will stay in my own world while others mill about me.
I am so heartbroken right now. I am heartbroken but I am more angry this time. Like I told her it feels as though she was simply pretending these last 2-3 weeks and didn't seriously consider the consequences of us getting back together. I wish I was in a position to leave the apartment now. I don't want to be with her like this. I don't want to have to see her, be civil to her when she hurt me so bad. I want her to hurt and get used to being alone again. This time I don't want to be nice to her. I want her to know that I will not be her friend. Even as I type this I wonder if I will be able to go through with this. I love her with all my heart. I have never loved anyone else in my life and who knows if I ever will. The only thing I am certain of right now is that I need to get out of the shared space. I need to kick up my job hunting skills a few thousand notches.
For now I guess I'll take this time to look up more jobs and try to kill time till 2:30; then it's back home to watch 3rd place game between #URU & #GER
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